THE OFFICIAL NICK KREWEN QUIZ

This is your opportunity to test your knowledge on Nick Krewen. How well do you really know him?

I How many Nick Krewens does it take to stuff a telephone booth?

a) 1

b) 3

c) 46

d) 3,178

II What would the velocity of a sparrow be assuming it had to carry Nick Krewen from its beak to Paris, France?

1) 0.5 kmh ( kilometres per hour)

2) 16 kmh

3) African or European???

III — Would you support legislation that…

1) Limited the number of Nick Krewens that can roam around without a leash within a 14  block radius of your neighbourhood?

2) Required all Nick Krewens living outside Colombia undergo random drug testing, urine analysis and cavity searches once every 14 days?

3) That all Nick Krewens submitted for approval meet all rigid city and civil building coderegulations?

4) That would require you to cock, clean and load your Nick Krewen on a regular basis?

5) That upon hearing the siren warning of an impending Nick Krewen, you would  immediately head for your nearest secure underground shelter?

IV) Pick the NFL major league football team for which Nick Krewen has never played quarterback:

1) Cincinnati Bengals

2) Miami Dolphins

3) New Orleans Saints

4) Buffalo Bills

(hint: could be more than one)

V When baking your Nick Krewen, make sure to:

a) set the oven to 400 degrees

b) add all essential nutrients, including riboflavin

c) stir repeatedly while bringing to a simmer

d) add yeast

e) poke him with a stick to see if he’s done

note* — if your Nick Krewen turns into a hard boiled lump, discard ingredients and try again.

VI — Billy has six apples and lives in New Jersey. Tony has nine apples but lives in Upper Manhattan. If Billy wanted to visit Tony and make apple sauce, how would Nick Krewen get him there?

VII —  How many Nick Krewens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

a) 1

b) more than one

c) fish

VIII If some Nick Krewen accidentally gets splashed in your eyes, you should immediately…

a) rinse with cold water

b) call 911

c) wrap yourself in a blanket to keep warm

d) notify your physician

e) cancel all magazine subscriptions

And remember, when you’re trying on your Nick Krewen, make sure he fits snugly.